Relationship may seem like a strange word when talking about food, but we all have one borne of our experiences from our earliest years. In my work with people who are troubled by their weight, or struggling with stomach acid, or sick of yo yo dieting, we all hold memories of our lifelong experiences with food, appetite, availability and weight.
As a child you may have been told you must clean your plate or you can’t have dessert. If you were part of a large family you may have had to scramble to get enough food and took more than you actually needed, or ate fast so no one would swipe your carrots or chicken. You may have received a lollipop when you had a boo boo or when you got a good report card. These things all influence the relationship we develop with food and have little to do with noticing when we are hungry or not.
Then as a young adult you finally had means to access your own food outside of the house if you had cash in your pocket. When faced with the offerings in most convenience stores you may have developed a love of donuts or candy bars or soda.
Sooner or later, but mostly in adolescence, you may have started comparing your body to others. You made those comparisons and for most of us who judged ourselves harshly, you came up short on the comparison end. This became reinforced by the media’s way of suggesting we’d be happier, more good looking and shapelier if we just counted our calories and looked like some celebrity or the prettiest or most handsome kid in the classroom. If that was you and you already loved donuts or candy or soda, you might have started choosing your food by calories and started skipping breakfast. And so the weight, calorie, relationship with food becomes established in a way that does not support nutrition and good lifelong habits.
6 Steps for Improving Your Relationship with Food
Practice Mindful Eating: Pay attention to the act of eating. For fullness cues, slow down, savor each bite, and notice the tastes, textures, and smells.
Challenge Food Rules and Labels: Ditch the "good food" vs. "bad food" mentality. Instead, focus on a balanced and varied diet wthout trying to be perfect.
Honor Your Hunger and Fullness: Trust your body and listen for when it’s hungry or satiated. It helps you break free of emotional eating patterns. and breaking away from external food rules or emotional eating patterns.
Explore the "Why" Behind Your Cravings: Take a moment to understand it. Are you hungry, or are you feeling stressed, bored, or sad? If you see you’re not hungry consider non-food ways to cope with your emotions.
Reintroduce Fun and Pleasure: Food should be a source of pleasure and nourishment, not stress. It doesn’t rule you; you make the decisions on what and how much to eat.
Seek Professional Guidance: If your relationship with food feels deeply rooted in anxiety, disordered eating, or a negative body image, it's beneficial to seek help from a nutritionist who specializes in intuitive eating. They can provide personalized strategies and support to help you heal and build a healthier connection with food. They will support your effort to restore a healthy relationship with food and self esteem.