Is Someone Meddling with Your Weight?

Do people you know and love mess with your weight?  Do they ask you if you really should have that second glass of wine?  Or remind you how much prettier/attractive/handsome you would be if you just lost 40 pounds? 

This has a name.  It is called  BODY SHAMING.  It is not helpful. 

  Children come in many sizes and shapes

  Children come in many sizes and shapes

You may remember this started when you were very young. One client remembers her Mom telling a neighbor "Maureen's the chubby one - no second helpings for her when the other kids have them. We don't want her to get fat."  These comments stay with a person and lay the seeds of shame at a very early age, along with a desire for more food.  

Either They Mean Well or They are Mean

Unsolicited comments about weight can come from the best intentions, but for most people, they are not helpful. What is helpful are people who celebrate you and build your confidence. This positivity lessens emotional eating because it's nice to feel appreciated and valued. 

Occasionally you will run into a mean-spirited person who in their attempt to make themselves feel better will chip away at your self-image. Stay far away if you can or be very blunt in stopping them.

Practice What to Say

If this is a problem for you, think about whose comments negatively affect you and what exactly it is they are saying to you.  Then construct a short, clear statement to put an end to it. 

Examples:

1. It's not helpful to me when you monitor my eating.

2. If you'd really like me to lose weight, stop talking about it. 

3. Is there something more positive you can say to me?

4. I'm feeling judged by you and I don't like it. 

5. STOP.

Put an end to feeling judged by those closest to you.  It will empower you to make your own choices and decide for yourself exactly what you'd like to eat.  Chronic dieters and those feeling shamed have been unable to do that. If you are truly wanting to lose weight, this approach will open the door for you to make real progress, one step at a time.